A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus, he can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, so he says that he'll wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up to the bar with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus. The octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix ever did. So the punter pays his £50, and retires, wounded.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the punter pays his £50, and walks off, shaking his head in disbelief.

A Scotsman walks up to the bar with a set of bagpipes. He sits them down beside the octopus. The octopus fumbles with them for a while and sits them down with a confused look on his face.

"Ha!" the Scotsman says. "Ye cannae play it, can ye?"

The octopus looks the Scotsman in the eye and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I can get its pyjamas off"...

Last updated February 29th 2004
Back to Menu page
Back to Home page: