Frequently Asked Questions

"Is it pronounced 'Sums'?".
No. Rhymes with 'homes', actually.

"Have you met the Dalai Lama/What sort of Buddhism do you practice/Have you been to Tibet?"
No, I didn't meet him, but I got within about 3 feet of him, when he opened the Tibetan Peace Garden in London in 1999. He's as wonderful as everyone says he is./I don't/No.

(Speaking of edible crabs). "Why exactly is it called the Edible Crab?".

"What exactly is the ozone layer made of".

"Hey, er, dude. How much would it cost, say, to send a carburettor to the Amazon by courier?".

"So, hey, er, how would I go about insulting someone in Bolivia?".

"Hey, er, should I try a glass of wine? Will I like it?".

"So Robin, how long have you and Paul been cousins, then?".

"Hello, is that Mr Sums? This is Tracy speaking, on behalf of Zenith Double Glazing; would you be interested in replacement UPVC doors and windows for your home?".

"Have you seen my jugs"

(No answer to any of the above).

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Last updated February 19th 2004
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